adapting Adaptation

do i have an original thought in my head.
maybe if i didn't think so i could.
i'm losing my hair.
maybe if i was happy my hair would stop falling.
i should work hard to be happier

all i do is sit on my fat ass
if i was not fat if be happier.

these were someone else's words

if these words were mine i would be happier

maybe i should just stop fooling myself and accept life as it is
maybe i should work hard and get thinner

I should start running, and reduce eating.

that would make me happier,
even girls would talk to me

if girls would talk to me i would be happier
is it because i don’t talk to them.

well if my friends helped me to know myself better i could,

maybe it’s just because i don't work hard.

he doesn't work hard,
maybe he is too smart

i was right i should start jogging,
really do it this time.

i'm a failure, i should try harder
I never work for my life

i should change
maybe life will be fun

I need a big change in my life
i need to turn my life around

what do i need to do

no talk this time I’ll get up now start studying

i need better grades,
need to get thin

i should not be writing this

if i had a girlfriend i would be happier

look at me,
i am repulsive,i look like shit,
i don’t dress up well,
i should pay attention to my attire.
maybe then I’ll look better,

i need to pay attention
if i was not careless i would be happier

even my parents would be happier
maybe i am my parents disappointment

i should not let them down

it is my problem,
i have never lived
i talk too much, people must be calling me a useless blabber mouth

i should talk less, they think i am stupid
i should think before i speak,

i should be more aware
that will make me happy
i should practice on the guitar,
and work for winning competitions

that would be cool. people would like me

i am still fooling myself.
copying words from Kauffman,
maybe this makes me happy

fooling myself.

maybe i should give up.
live like a zombie
get a job 9 - 5
and be content

I HATE that

but that is the max i will get
i am to blame

should i open the door.
will that make me happier