involve

Friends, life, definition of life, fun, interests, answers, gossip, love, possession,

Everyone has a life, a life that involves the other, mine, has only me, me the object , me the focus, me the enemy, the friend. ME. the topic of the endless blabber. Lost in a world where I am disabled, but to a point where I do not get an official label, not a free chair in an institution, no empathy, only that i am the lesser, the unwanted. I have freedom, hope, love, to a point I cannot complain of the lack of it, but i want MORE. I NEED more. maybe it is just the greed, the devil in me. But I am wasting life, god's gift or crying over the lack of it.

I long for a final CRY, a SHout to end all. what i want to be, what i want to end, I DO not Understand.

I see people evolve, change, learn , move towards a fuller life, I stand here, I COMPLAIN. I understand this, BUT can I Change, can I DO more than HOPE. I am lost in an endless cycle of questions.

The 'I' gets stronger pushing me to the edge.