vanish. escape. end

i plead forgiveness. again. pray for mercy. from now till ever.


but existence had to be justified. the nothingness of me needed to look from the other end. it did. and i found out that it is just "me, the most important", "he, who??".

how i did chase the black ray of hope even when the truth was known. and since i am continuing with these banal words. it is not that i wanted to do things. only this is my way for self-support. it is known that if it be known, i will fall to places i've not yet visited, but the actions led my control.

and i wonder, if it is better (as many do) to keep on pretending that i matter, that someone is listening, would stay around if not for 'lack of options'. now i sound like someone else, its strange how the context of what i say is so much more generic compared with these words in their usual space.

maybe i'm just asking for too much,