alas

To realize the reasons behind the moves, the words of your ego, yet to go ahead and follow the chosen path; it can be justified as experimentation, as passive observation - a scientific analysis to gauze your own subconcious. Or it can simply be accepted as lack of self control.

Decisions; actions undertaken purely to satisy urges steming from primal needs. this after understanding the basis of them. facing the futility of hope, why does one not step away. stop. divert