everyThing

i have everything

that's the fcking problem, i have what you've always wanted, the megapixel camera you always looked at, its in my pocket. The sexy apple machine that could have raised your productivity and social status to god-like, i've been using it for years, Z series ibanez, the 7 string kramer, they lie in the attic. And the cash, i've got loads of that too. This is my fcking problem. I'm not bald. blood pressure, haemoglobin count, penis size, hormones, all normal. All limbs functional, no slur in speech, learnt to talk, walk at a normal age, I'm no retard. No, i was not sexually molested at a young age, my parents are normal, no bully ever tormented me, not even a recurring bad dream.

It's a carefully controlled experiment, how miserable can a person with everything be. I'm fate's guinea pig. What can you do to fail when everything is going your way.

everything in my life is perfect, except me, whatever it is, maybe that's what all this is about, to find the 'I', 'Me' in this world. i'll wait my whole life, i'd rather die, but my mind is held in fear.